What Does It Really Mean to Listen?

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If you want to be a good salesperson be a good listener. If you want to be a GREAT salesperson, be a GREAT listener.

So, what does it mean to really listen? Real listening is an active process that has three basic steps.

Hearing. Hearing just means listening enough to catch what the speaker is saying. For example, say you were listening to a report on zebras, and the speaker mentioned that no two are alike. If you can repeat the fact, then you have heard what has been said.
Understanding. The next part of listening happens when you take what you have heard and understand it in your own way. Using the zebra example above which claimed that no two are alike you’ll think about what that might mean. You might think, “Maybe this means that the pattern of stripes is different for each zebra.”
Clairifying and Confirming. After you are sure you understand what the speaker has said, simply give your level of understanding a reality check. Just ask the speaker a simple question. Sticking with the zebra example, you might ask: “So, if I understand you correctly, the stripes are different for every zebra?” At the this point the speaker will either confirm that you got the correct meaning or will clairify and explain what was actually meant. When this happens you have truly listened and you have had good communication.

Tips for being a good listener

Give your full attention on the person who is speaking. Don’t look out the window or allow yourself to be distracted by your own thoughts or whatever else is going on in the room.
Keep your mind focused. It can be easy to let your mind wander if you think you know what the person is going to say next, but you might be wrong! If you feel your mind wandering, change the position of your body and try to concentrate on the speaker’s words.
Let the speaker finish before you begin to talk. Speakers appreciate having the chance to say everything they would like to say without being interrupted. When you interrupt, it looks like you aren’t listening, even if you really are.
Finish listening before you speak! You can’t really listen if you are busy thinking about what you want say next.
Listen for main ideas. The main ideas are the most important points the speaker wants to get across. They may be mentioned at the start or end of a talk, and repeated a number of times. Pay special attention to statements that begin with phrases such as “My point is…” or “The thing to remember is…”
Ask questions. If you are not sure you understand what the speaker has said, just ask. It is a good idea to paraphrase your understanding of what the speaker said so that you can be sure your understanding is correct. For example, you might say, “When you said that no two zebras are alike, did you mean that the stripes are different on each one?”
Give feedback. Sit up straight and look directly at the speaker. Be fully attentive. Now and then, nod to show that you understand. At appropriate points you may also smile, frown, laugh, or be silent. These are all ways to let the speaker know that you are really focused on them. Remember, you listen with your whole body; your face as well as your ears!
Think fast. Remember: time is on your side! Thoughts move about four times as fast as speech. With practice, while you are listening you will also be able to think about what you are hearing, really understand it, and give feedback to the speaker.

People hunger to be appreciated and to be understood. More importantly, they need to understand that they have been understood.If you can form the habbit of really listening to understand, and then confirming that you understand, you are well on your way to creating and maintaining exceptional sales, business and life success. This is where deep levels of trust are born. In our Three Truths of Selling Workshop, we spend a great deal of time building the reflex of effective questioning and active listening. I invite you to join us for a transformational workshop that is guaranteed to turn your natural daily conversations into cashflow!